Existential & Relational Counselling
1:1 counselling for exploring meaning, identity, purpose, and the questions that arise in difficult or changing times — in Oslo & online from anywhere.
Sometimes, we just need someone to talk to.
Sometimes, we do not want to be fixed or changed according to externally defined standards — we want to be listened to without judgement, and deeply seen in who we are, where we’ve been, and where we are trying to go from here.
Sometimes we need someone who won’t interrupt,
won’t give advice that we have not asked for,
won’t try to downplay or dismiss what we are going through,
who can hold even the most vulnerable and shameful parts of us in compassion and loving-kindness.
Someone who is comfortable with meeting us where we’re at,
in our pain, confusion, messiness,
aware that many things in life do not have quick fixes or clear answers,
trusting that ultimately, you are the expert of your own life and needs,
and — that we are not meant to figure it all out alone.
Someone who can walk alongside you, bringing steady presence where there might be overwhelm, and curiosity where there might be tension and stagnation.
Existential & Relational Counselling
What matters to you? What gives you meaning in life? What do you value? How can those values guide you to make authentic and aligned decisions?
Some of the most difficult questions we encounter are not problems with straightforward solutions. They may be questions about meaning, purpose, direction, identity, belonging, loneliness, mortality, or how to live when circumstances have changed in ways we did not choose.
You might identify with going through an “existential crisis” or a major life transition. You may be struggling to identify your values, or with how to live in alignment with them. You may be wondering if something is “wrong” with you, or if some past experiences have made you fundamentally “broken” as a person.
I offer supportive, therapeutic conversations based on deep listening and compassionate presence. The work is intentionally non-clinical and non-pathologising: I do not diagnose disorders or provide clinical treatment.
I meet you from the perspective, that many difficult thoughts and emotions are logical and reasonable responses to the inherent difficulty of living as a human — and, at the same time:
Some kinds of suffering are not inevitable,
Some coping methods may be more helpful than others,
It is possible to live a fulfilling and meaningful life no matter the circumstances,
We are more likely to “get stuck” when we try to figure it out alone.
This might be for you if…
You are going through a major life transition, loss, or period of uncertainty, and questioning your identity, purpose, values or direction;
You want to increase your capacity to be with the many things in life that are too complex for neat solutions and answers;
You are struggling with questions of belonging, identity or home — including feeling caught between cultures, communities or different ways of living;
You are questioning your sense of meaning, purpose, values or worldview, or wondering what makes a worthwhile life for you;
You want somewhere to speak openly about what is happening in your life without being immediately analysed, advised, diagnosed or “fixed”;
You are in need of compassionate support around suffering or challenge related to existential questions and topics.
You might arrive with thoughts like…
“The life I thought I was going to have is no longer possible. I don't know how to imagine what comes next.”
“I don't know what I believe anymore, and I'm not sure what to build my life around now.”
“Why is it that no matter where I go, I always feel like an outsider?”
“I can't quite explain what is wrong. My life might look fine from the outside, but something feels deeply off.”
“I am afraid of wasting my life, but I don't know what a worthwhile life would actually look like for me.”
“I have spent so much time adapting to what other people expect of me that I don't know what I actually want anymore.”
“I care deeply about what is happening to the climate and the suffering in the world, and I don't know how to live with that knowledge.”
what you can expect
Non-directive ~ client-led ~ deep listening ~ genuine curiosity
As relational beings, we sometimes become stuck not because there is something inherently wrong with us, but because we have been carrying difficult experiences alone for too long. Having somewhere to speak freely, without needing to make yourself more comfortable or acceptable for somebody else, can create room for new things to become visible.
My heart and ears are my primary tool. I listen to you without interruption. If you just need to vent, express strong emotions or opinions that have been pent up for a long time without an outlet, I am here. You don’t need to worry about how it will impact me — the space is yours.
To the best of my ability, I try on what it might be like to be “in your position” — to stand side-by-side with you, looking out and around at the world from the same vantage point. I might ask questions out of genuine curiosity, to get a more complete picture of your world — and periodically reflect back things I have heard, to clarify my understanding.
I see us as co-explorers on the journey of life — walking together, staying present and curious together.
From here, there is no fixed structure to how we spend our time together. You can bring any topics that feel alive in your life at the moment. We can also make use of any of the other practices I have listed as standalone offerings elsewhere on this website. I can share relevant insights and resources from my own lived experience if you request it. We do whatever will be most supportive for you, which can change from session to session.
Comfort with the unknown ~ increased capacity to stay with experience
Most big life questions do not have definitive answers or obvious solutions. When we are suffering greatly, we may have a strong desire to have an explanation (a diagnosis) and instructions on how to solve it (a treatment). We might want to have reassurance from an “expert”, that things will work out in the future, or that what we are currently trying to do is the right thing. It is perfectly normal and welcome to have these desires — and: I don't approach life difficulties by trying to diagnose them or provide a treatment for them.
I do provide a space, that is genuine and deeply embodied, in which all of your questions, confusions and distress are welcome exactly as they are.
Where we may together have the capacity to meet them with gentle curiosity rather than engage in the reflex to “problem-solve” them away as soon as possible.
Where we can approach the change process as open-ended experimentation (“what happens if we try this?”) rather than intervention (“doing X to stop or fix Y”).
I can also offer concrete practices that we try out together, to support increasing capacity to stay with the unknown and the imperfect.
Practical considerations
We can meet online or in person in Oslo.
You are welcome to join online sessions either from indoors, in nature, or in any outdoor setting where you have enough privacy and space to participate comfortably,
First-time in-person sessions take place in my small and cosy home office in Oslo. When working together on an ongoing basis, we can also agree to meet outdoors in nature or in your own home, when it is useful for your process.
If you are interested in working with me in this way, we start with a free 60-minute trial session. It serves both as an introduction and as a real session: we have the time and spaciousness to explore a small piece of something that is real and alive for you right now, so you can get an experiential sense of what it is like to work with me rather than having to decide based only on talking about it. There is no need to arrive with a perfectly formulated question or problem, and no pressure or expectation to book more sessions afterwards.
If it feels like a good fit and you would like to continue, subsequent sessions are 900 NOK / €85 for 60 minutes. One-off sessions use the standard rate; reduced rates can be agreed in advance for ongoing work on a weekly or biweekly basis.
Sessions can also be 90 minutes — or longer — or combined with other (non talking-based) practices — more info here.
Sessions can be held in English or Norwegian.
We can meet weekly, biweekly, monthly, or whenever you feel like it. I do believe this kind of work has more depth when we have the opportunity to meet regularly over some period of time, but this is not required.
Questions you may have
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Existential and relational counselling is a primarily dialogic (conversational) form of therapeutic support that explores how you are experiencing your life, identity, values, choices, meaning and circumstances.
The existential side of the work is interested in questions such as how you want to live, what matters to you, how you relate to uncertainty, and how you make choices when there is no objectively “right” answer.
The relational side recognises that we do not experience ourselves in isolation. Relationships, social and cultural environments, and what happens between people can all be important parts of understanding our experience.
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Only if you ask for it, and if I happen to have an advice-shaped answer to that exact question. This is generally quite rare. What I do offer of guidance and suggestions tends to be either practices and experiments (this is something we can try, to see what happens, I do not know what will happen or if it will work for you) or practical resources (links, websites, books, people to follow, a place to check out, etc).
In general, I never assume that I know what you should do, or that there is a right answer in any situation; I am walking alongside you and being curious together.
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This practice of holding space for deep listening and compassionate presence is the result of multiple training and practice pathways converging into a single, coherent way of being — being with myself, being with others, and being with the world.
Some of these pathways have included Buddhist meditation and monastic training, Nature and Forest Therapy, Authentic Relating and relational mindfulness group facilitation, shamanic and Indigenous-led practice, sound and vibrational therapy, Reiki and supportive touch.
I previously studied clinical psychology in Norway for two years, before coming to recognise that a diagnosis-and-treatment model of working with human suffering was not in alignment with my core values.
I am currently in the four-year training in Gestalt therapy at Norsk Gestaltinstitutt Høyskole. Many of my practice methods are Gestalt-inspired, but I am not yet a Gestalt therapist, and these sessions should not be understood as Gestalt therapy.
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I do not diagnose mental health conditions or provide treatment of any diagnosable condition.
Sometimes people come to me who have been turned away from the public health care system because their suffering was judged to not meet the severity threshold, and want a neutral space to process the emotional impact of such experiences before / while trying again. Sometimes, someone is considering pursuing clinical evaluation or diagnosis of a condition they suspect they might have — such as conditions related to neurodivergence or trauma — and conversations about the identity and meaning implications of going through that process, is one step along their way.
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Of course, I see this offering as something that performs different functions from clinical psychology or mental health care services. It can be a great supplement, or complement, but never a replacement.
“In the face of impermanence and death, it takes courage to love the things of this world and to believe that praising them is our noblest calling.”
—Joanna Macy